“The Sounds of Silence.”
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
(excerpt from the song “Sound(s) of Silence” Songwriter: Paul Simon;
First Performance: Simon and Garfunkel, 1964.)
Written five and a half decades ago, this song’s lyrics are eerily relevant to the modern-day public discourse. Never, at any time in human history, has there been a time where more is being spoken – after all, the exponential growth in the world’s population means more conversations are happening each and every day.
Never, at any time in human history, has there been a time where more is being written and/or published – this very blog is a product of the way that leaders communicate with their communities in the modern school, church, the institution or corporation.
Never, at any time in human history, has there been a time where more news is being reported, more probing investigations undertaken. Selfies, click-bait, “hits”, “likes”; the obsessions of the modern (social) media aficionados add to this emerging trend.
And into this picture of modern, daily engagement with the world surrounding our children and us as families, I ask the uncomfortable question: “what role does silence have in all this flurry of noise and information overload?”
I’d contend that there are two kinds of silence – passive, and active. It is my contention that both are God-inspired and ordained for different circumstances, and important for us in our care of each other and our ministry within and beyond our community. There are some traditions within the broad Christian church where observing silence is an important part of developing spiritual disciplines.
My focus in this series of articles is on conversations. By this, I believe this includes both our observation and engagement with one another in relationships.
In Parts 1 & 2 of this series, I focused on the way we engage with deep interest and how we actively enquire in our conversations, to gain broader perspectives. This week, let’s consider the silent, or non-verbal elements we can use as contributions to conversations.
Listening, being present without speaking, watching, observing, seeing the world without noticeably intruding into it. These are non-verbal ways of being deeply interested and/or actively enquiring into the circumstances that surround the conversations we are in.
Another one of the challenges we face when we are in a conversations, is picking up cues – non-verbal social cues (a look from another participant in the conversation, a hand gesture, a repositioning of their body), environmental cues (location, time, other people and things in close proximity), circumstantial cues (e.g. a significant life moment in the other person’s life that they expect you to already know, world events that are impacting all of our lives).
The other big challenge we face is when to stop speaking when we are in conversations – not just so the other person can talk, but also – when it is time to stop asking questions, when it is time to stop reflecting back what you are hearing, when it is time to stop adding narrative or our own verbal commentary to a discussion. It can be so easy to say one more thing, to correct one more misconception, to speak up in defence of those who need advocacy, or even to justify our own position.
It strikes me that one of the most poignant moments of silence in Jesus’ life was when he was being accused and about to be sentenced to death. The man without sin, whose actions were always defensible, who could have pointed out the inconsistency in every other person’s words and actions – he remained silent.
In the Gospel narratives, perhaps we should consider the number of times the narrative describing Jesus focuses on his presence, his being with people, the way he “entered” a situation. A challenge to us is to consider Jesus’ ministry through the lens of how often he said very little whilst others were saying a lot, how often he spoke only when it was necessary to bring clarity, healing and hope.
“Your faith has made you well” Mark 5:34
“Apart from me you can do nothing” John 15:5
“The greatest among you shall be your servant.” Matthew 23:11
“Take heart, it is I. Do not be afraid.” Matthew 14:27
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
“I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6
“It is finished.” John 19:30
educating 4 life, too 
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