Part 1. “Seeking Truth”
“What I’m about to tell you is true. Anyone who hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life.
They will not be judged. They have crossed over from death to life.”
John 5:24
In May, I was sitting in the increasingly sweltering humidity of a Texan afternoon. We were visiting our daughter a week before her graduation from university in Houston. That is, if she could pass her one remaining Maths course (poor girl – straight A’s in her two majors, Communications and English – here she was, wrestling with her nemesis, Maths). I was tutoring Mary – nothing new about this. We’d been in this situation since she was in Year 9 – I think that was the first time I heard Mary wishing Maths would “just go away”. Problem was – they do their Maths differently in Texas. It’s taught differently, it’s model solutions get the same answers, but using different approaches.
Problem solving. We teach it in Maths, we develop approaches to it in subjects such as Chemistry and Economics. And yet, as I was sitting having to relearn how they teach Maths the Texan way, so I could show a desperate uni student her way through the pre-requisite burden of her degree, I was enlightened.
Two scenarios of problem solving from different perspectives to ponder.
- There are 1315 students in the school at the moment. Let’s say each student has an average of four conversations with other students each day. Let’s increase that number of chats by adding three conversations with teachers each day. Let’s say each of our 150 staff members has two discussions with work colleagues each day (all fairly conservative estimates, I’d suggest). Very quickly, before the end of the week, there have been tens of thousands of unique interactions within the grounds of our College.
- An analysis of data provided at enrolment by College families (around 800 in number) around their church alliances show that currently, we are involved in over 220 different “parishes” – that is, Christian community gathering places. For example, about 22 different Anglican church locations, 30 Baptist church locations … you get the picture – we are a very heterogeneous community, if we consider where we, as families, join God’s people in worshipping communities each week. Imagine I invited a single member (from within our college community) of each of these 220 different churches to a meeting to discuss a particular theological question.
It seems a near impossible prospect to consider how we might move forward without dispute or disagreement in either situation. To be provocative, I’d suggest that it’s actually better to expect that there will be many moments of reasonable disagreement. These could allow us to take further steps to more deeply understand how we can be God’s people seeking to glorify him, even when we don’t agree. It’s my experience that it is possible to live in healthy community in these circumstances – God’s expectation of us is to be humble and focused on him, rather than on our own opinion or perspective.
As a quick aside, who hasn’t been deeply convicted about a particular position we have held, only to have to realise sometime later that we were wrong? Or that another perspective had equal merit, and we’d been unreasonably opinionated against it in a discussion with someone? (Or am I the only one …?)
When we find ourselves in conversations, whether or not deep discussion and exploration of truth are the goal, this sequence of questions – seeking to know and understand more of the other person’s perspective – that can be very helpful to negotiate (sometimes surprisingly) tricky moments.
- Wait, What? (A beautiful millennial question we can use to our advantage) A question to ask for clarification. It helps you to slow down and not jump to conclusions, or make snap judgements.
- I Wonder (If/Why/What/When/How)? It helps the speakers stay curious.
- Do We Have Any Common Ground? This can help to “unstick” the conversation – potentially, to push back against “polarising moments”.
- What Can I Do To Help? An empathetic or sympathetic posture, seeking to more deeply engage.
- What Truly Matters? It helps us be vigilant, to figure out what is important and what can be left unresolved.
We may have to ask these questions a number of times, we may have to start again, we may have to be prepared to leave it and return to it sometime later, if it is necessary and/or important.
My vision for our community is that we increasingly commit to seeking deeper and more engaged conversations, marked by humility and openness, desiring a deepening understanding of God’s wisdom in each other. Rather than seeing discussions as chances to point out another’s difference as a sign of weakness or lack of “maturity” or “understanding”.
How great is it that God gives us so many opportunities every day to know the beauty he has created in each other? My prayer is that we honour this image of God, standing before us, in each of these conversations we have.
PS – Mary passed her Maths exam – God is very good – and we got to witness her graduation walk in person. Apparently, in some small way, you CAN teach an old dog (father as maths tutor) new tricks …
educating 4 life, too 
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