Ephesians 6:4 (The Message) Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.
Proverbs 22:6 (The Message) Point your kids in the right direction — when they’re old they won’t be lost.
Proverbs 29:17 (The Message) Discipline your children; you’ll be glad you did — they’ll turn out delightful to live with.
Colossians 3:21 21 (The Message) Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.
For us, one of the greatest challenges as Kris and I find ourselves almost midpoint in our third decade of parenting is remaining engaged with the God-given responsibility we have as parents in the relationships we have with our children.
It is fair to say that we have seen significant shifts in the way God has called us to parent each of our three children. The way one feeds into a child’s behaviours and attitudes changes with age – from being directive and overtly nurturing in the primary years, through being more of an advisor and mentor in the teenage years to more remotely supporting and encouraging during their adulthood.
Another example has to be the experiences and influences from outside that our children contend with today. In 1994, when our oldest Jess was born, there was no such thing as streaming. There were only five television channels, and video phone calls were essentially a fanciful dream. Now, with our second child Mary living 15000kms away, we speak with her up to five times a week by video phone calls and often discuss the shows we are watching on Netflix or any one of a number of other streaming services.
However, one thing hasn’t changed in all that time – God has called Kris and me to be parents in our relationships with our three children and that has always meant being adult, mature and offering wise counsel – being proactive and actively interested in the life we find ourselves sharing with each other.
Sometimes this has meant having tricky conversations about things that are bothering us. Sometimes it has been tense; however, the goal should always be to reflect on God’s place in our lives and the behaviours and attitudes that bring him glory. Kris and my prayers are most often for discernment. And for wisdom. And patience. And open hearts.
In recent times, talking about what we are watching on TV or streaming through our devices (desktop, laptop, tablet, phones) has been an ongoing conversation in our household. It is worth opening the door on that conversation and keeping that door open. I believe we have a parenting responsibility to do so. To set guidelines, to set expectations, to constantly revisit what these might mean. Not to be restrictive, but to be godly. Not to prevent, but rather to understand why some things we watch will not build us up – rather, they have the potential to do considerable damage.
There are some shows that none of us should watch. There are others only adults have the discernment to adequately process. Being “in the world” most definitely does not mean being “of the world”. It is OK not to know everything about every TV show, Netflix series or special one-off presentation you can gain access to by having a computer connected to the internet.
We are including in this edition of Networks, some commentary about one particular show currently available on Netflix – 13 Reasons Why. It seems that a significant number of the older members of our student body have watched some, if not all, of the series. This show appears to be a marker (a point of definition) for where streaming services are heading. It is not my intention to highlight other shows in the future, but rather at this point provide some specific advice that will hopefully prove beneficial in discussions at this time about that show and in the future about other shows.
If the resource we provide here assists you, I am very pleased. I hope it does – it is not meant to be a definitive word, but I hope it will inform parenting conversations families within our community now and into the future, in the area of what is and isn’t appropriate to be streaming and watching.
I will pray for deep, open and honest conversations between the parents and children of each household that makes up our College community. About all aspects of our lives together – the broader the topics, the easier these conversations will be.
educating 4 life, too 
Leave a comment